.

'betty came by on her way

said she had a word to say

about things today'

ext:ngu:shed by l:ght

...through her eyes

...meet lisa!

:)

...

"...you can lie between her legs
and go looking for
tell her you're searching for her soul


you can wait for ages...
watch your compost turn to coal

time is contagious

everybody's getting old"

::lucifer

black cat... dead cat

:(

the sky is a landfill

5.40.p.m.

:it smells great, out s i d e

:sydness



topical........typical.......mr.heath......mr.wilson
......typical.....topical......tip-up.....political..

joke grimace....

en:light:en:ment

'enlightenment never happens.... it is there, it is always there.

enlightenment need not always happen with a bang, it can happen quietly, it can be like a flower blossoming...'

-Sadhguru

down on the road, the world is ... floating by

esc:a:pe

:sand:

you keep me in a glass jar sealed with a label
you think you know my world
wake up young girl, you've got a lot to learn
my love, my life, my work, my time
i give them all to you
your hand in mine
we walk, we talk in rhyme
we go the whole night through

i'm not a grain of sand
i don't care what's written in your hand
it's bound to change

sore, bored, and I'm lost, cost, cold
getting older
wrap it up, rip it up now
have it sold
i'm a grower
any more, any more, any more, any more...
i wanna be with you
just wanna be with you

but you tease me
and it shows in the way that you play
you think you know my love
wake up young girl
and take a taste
not a bite, not a bite of a life now
can tell you never come, yeah well
my will, my mind
my lips, my lines
i've got them all over you

your taste combined
with all the years of wasting time
i've got a hold on something new
i'm not a grain of sand
i don't care what's written in your hand
cause it's bound to change
...
-damien rice

:colored in black and wh:te

autoportrayed

...through the fish eyed lens

la place des arts.

the an:mals were gone

...oh canada

... very moody

i am moody

leave::me

leave me
... for my selfishness

leave me
... for my weakness

just leave

leave me for not talking ...
for my silence

leave me behind

... i was there
i'm used to it

just go...

the sc i ent i st

come up to meet you,
tell you i'm sorry
you don't know how lovely you are

i had to find you
tell you i need you
tell you i set you apart

tell me your secrets
and ask me your questions
oh let's go back to the start

...

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be this hard
oh take me back to the start

...

i'm going back to the start



-coldplay-

forbidden moments...

they both knew it wasn't right
they wondered on starry nights
for hours
for days
for a month

...

the rain fell
they kissed .. the first under the rain

it felt cold, everywhere

::26

here goes another year ...

...a year older

from money

to ground on down,

that was really fast
couldn't realise the time it took

i'm very happy for the moment...

i wish it would last...

... ground on down

...
i hate to say i love you,
because it means that i will be with you forever or will sadly
say goodbye

and i love to say i hate you,
because it means that i will live my life happily without you or
will sadly live a lie

and you're working your way,
from the ground

on down,

on down.


your way,

from the ground on down, on down...


ben harper's

back:and:forth

he never changed ...

he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
he'll keep meeting new people, they would change and leave
...

... well everybody's tired of something

f l o at like a can:: non:: ball:.

what's


t h a t


f - e - e - l - i - n - g



anyway



: :

...

i now officially hate the last days of september ...

walk away

oh no
here comes that sun again
that means another day
without you my friend
and it hurts me
to look into the mirror at myself
and it hurts even more
to have to be with somebody else

and its so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away

with so many people
to love in my life
why do I worry
about one
but you put the happy in my ness
you put the good times into my fun

and its so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
and head for the door

we've tried the goodbye
so many days
we walk in the same direction
so that we could never stray
they say if you love somebody
than you have got to set them free
but I would rather be locked to you
than live in this pain and misery

they say time will
make all this go away
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows
and turned them into yesterdays

and once again that rising sun
is dropping on down
and once again you my friend
are nowhere to be found

sometimes you just have to walk away ...
and head for the door
you just walk away


ben harper

ruthless h:story

they used to preach history back in school

wealth, wars, rich men, poverty

many years have passed since...
they say history repeats itself
it does

misery

pain

blood

all is wrecked
roads
landmarks
social lives
minds

opportunities
...

they mean no harm
teaching all this
but one should know that
in case it ever happens
in case it is repeated

in case one lived it

once more
.

i needed a friend ...
someone to talk to.

sh oul dileave

is she leaving

can i leave all that behind
just for ...

for a chance

that might
ha ppe n

i need a friend ...
someone to talk to.

i'm as
happy
as
sad

so mixed up

shine::: : : : :

remember when you were young
you shone like the sun

shine on you crazy diamond

now there's a look in your eyes
like black holes in the sky

shine ...


r i p
Roger 'Syd' Barrett
06/01/46 - 11/07/06

life::in a frame

i was rewinding some scenes in my head
scenes of past lives

it's amazing how much this mind can hold

pictures turn into memories

why do humans keep clinging on to those memories
those scenes
grief
sadness
joy
happiness
love and hate

i'd love to hate

i wish i could erase it all
start from scratch build new ones
and if i screw i'd erase it again
start over

and

over
...

i'd have miles and miles of film strips behind
all wasted
...
trying and trying

it's too bad that i only have this one strip
i better not waste it on foolish trials

i have a whole life ahead to fit

4am

[...]

if i don't make it know that
i've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and i hope to god i figure out
what's wrong

[...]


our lady peace

... in progress

side a
track three
on some record of me

...

no one shall stay here
no one shall leave

i must tell you about how it will all begin

wake up.first.

dreams will not do
past thoughts,

childish feelings

let down the curtains
new shows,
new boundaries lie ahead

and when you're there never look back

it started.

dance with angels beneath the moon

calm and serene

surrounded.

everything is relentlessly fading

...

the track is done

you may take a nap,
have a glance of that past

meanwhile,

you may stay now
or leave

the rest of the record
is still to be done

on the verge ...

does it hurt to die?

she randomly asked herself
...many times

sitting on the window edge

she needed to know
the feeling
the sight
the smell


does death smell?

this empty feeling she had inside
was that it?

is it the taste of blood in the mouth?

the numbness of senses?

she did die once ... in dreams
it felt warm
warmth starts to spread through your veins
sweeping every single cell

till the last drop

she wanted to know
if dreams come true
if dreams were true


she jumped.

fr::zen

a horror story
a ruthless romance

a fairy tale

winter...
isn't it back too soon

deep into the forest
lies a frozen lake

seldom we've been there

seldom we hanged

from dead trees
till light broke through

her reflection still lures along the surface

frozen moments

snap shots
captured with human lens
never to be erased again

can you do that?

she has wings now
she can fly

the winds still whisper her name
trees miss her soft words

...

she flew away
...
(to another gray planet)

this painting was done by a friend, an artist!

lover, you should've come over

lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
my body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

its never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
its never over, all my riches for her smiles when i slept so soft against her
its never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
its never over, shes the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

well maybe i'm just too young
to keep good love from going wrong

... lover, you should've come over

cause its not too late


jeff buckley

in::dreams

they walk
they talk
they laugh
they kiss
they hug
they part.

...

they meet again...

where you are needed ...

he sits in his garden
right next to the dead tree
some garbage thrown all around
picks up his guitar ...

he's real
...

the taste of her lips
still on his

her touch

her scent
he remembers it very well

his mind circles around her

he breathes her
inside his deepest soul

...

come home,

where you are queen

over oceans and
territories

you reign

no one could ever cause you pain

come here

come home

come to my planet.

(i need you here...)

... it felt right

they swayed together

a low lit room

attraction
feelings
...
too much ..

they bond

unite

flow along the line

they were caught
their lips

melting through

a sneak peek from above would only see a drop
falling
down

splashing

scattering

to be formed

again

magically

illusion

it seems good

it feels good
it feels right

angels and sailors

always a playground instructor, never a killer,
always a bridesmaid on the verge of fame or over,
he maneuvered two girls in to his hotel room. one a friend, the other, the young one, a newer stranger
vaguely mexican or puerto rican.
poor boys thighs and buttocks scarred by a father's belt, she's trying to rise.
story of her boyfriend, of teenage stoned death games, handsome lad, dead in a car.
confusion.
no connections.
come here.
i love you.
peace on earth.
will you die for me?
eat me.
this way.


[...]


i'm surprised you could get it up.
he whips her lightly, sardonically, with belt.
haven't i been through enough? she asks,now dressed and leaving
the spanish girl begins to bleed; she says her period. it's catholic heaven.
i have an ancient indian crucifix around my neck, my chest is hard and brown.
lying on stained, wretched sheets with a bleeding virgin,
we could plan a murder,
or start a religion...




jim morrison

some::light

i'm getting out of here
i can't take it anymore

to the other side of darkness

hey, wait somebody's coming

sir, it's not your turn

but i've been waiting...

still a long way ... to wait
may i offer you something to eat

i'm only here for the show
i won't abuse ...
will only watch from far.

waiting


a bright side

not the brightest ...

happiness is a mat that sits on the doorway ...

miracle..

it’s taken much too long
to get it right
would it be so wrong
to maybe find someone
... a miracle

and all you really need
is everything you could never be
and so you’d give it all
for a miracle

is there a trace
inside her face
of a lonely miracle
and so you wait
and lie awake
for a lonely miracle

you never really know
what it is
not until it goes
and if it comes again
it’s a miracle
but what you miss is love
in everything below and up above
and could she bring it all
a miracle


it’s taken so long to get it right
could it be so wrong
to maybe find someone
a miracle


[not my words, but they fit so well]

too much rope...

moslem or christian, mullah or pope
preacher or poet who was it wrote
give any one species too much rope
and they'll fuck it up

roger waters

human:::beings

cold-blooded creatures

(just a thought)

::intruder

what is he doing here
who let him in

you feel you are on your own

everybody knows who you are
what you were
it's not a place for you anymore

can't you feel it

- i insist
- what for? haven't you had enough, they said
you're nothing special

can't you feel it

remember the things in your head ...
well it's all in your head mate

...

how i wish these two lost souls would swim in the same fishbowl,
for years and years to come...

the fishbowl was broken
water is still dripping
no one knows what caused it
no one cares for the mess

- you're on your own
you're intruding lives, you don't belong here
you should back up
go ahead
live!!


STOOOOOOP!


i know it all, i know all that
the decision is not mine to take
guess i'll hang for some more time
- it won't do you any good
- but time was meant to heal wounds
- when used properly

i need to stay a bit more
to be convinced
to not belong
to not be
to intrude...

how to disappear completely...

I was out on the highway again
...not going fast

music was nice,
i could hear each and every note
each and every noise generated


-" that theeeere
that's not meeeee ...

music in the background:
i'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here
...
in a little while, i'll be gone
the moment's already passed

yeahhh it's gone
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here ..."

empty sweet sangria ...

one late::evening

one evening, late, the clock was stuck on 2:00 a.m for ages...
she broke the silence:

- would you cry if i died?

- i would be very sad

- why?

- i don't know

- why?...

- ... because i loved you, once

- and now?

- i don't know

- what if you don't love me anymore?

- i would have known...


[...]

later that same evening...

- you can't die now

- why?

- some people might get hurt, if you do

- some people are hurt when i'm here...

con::fusion

:the disturbance of consciousness characterized by inability to engage in orderly thought or by lack of power to distinguish, choose, or act decisively

have you ever been in a situation where you needed something so badly,
it happens
you get confused

why did it occur, just now
was i to blame
was i to blame anyone

how should i act
how should i react

it is really confusing...
it's really hard to choose, to decide

how could i have changed it
i needed it
i knew back then
now i don't

i guess i need help
i guess no one can help

maybe someone needs me
i need someone who doesn't need me

something is required and wanted ...
now received ...

great big mess!

necessity

need

rejection

could you help me ... will you die for me

the flat is small

dark

cold

damp

lonely...

i need something
more than that

confused.theend::

she should::act fast

she sat alone thinking ...
wondering

someone might be right
she knows it
can't admit it

why is she still holding on

she is loosing everything else
already lost a lot
can't lose anymore

why is she still holding on

is it worth it all...
she cheats on herself
for what good reason?

why is she still holding on

she wonders ...
only she has the answers

she should act
...now

(i think that there's still time)

...like now

God i miss her

look at her ...

have you ever seen anyone with such a smile
a smile that would veil the daylight break...

a laugh that sounds like a lullaby in clear starry night

she has that look in her eyes...
a look that would pierce your deepest thoughts
penetrate your inner soul and leave it eager for more

...

i do miss her

sometimes

very rarely

like now.

a trip down memory lane...

i was out on the highway for a while
it feels good man...
wind blowing in your face,
rain trying to blind you
music out loud

then everything starts to go faster
lights flashing
... blurry
you feel heavy...
mesmerized

nothing to see but this white dot
in front of you
growing and
...growing.

you go in!

swiiiishhhhh !!!

what was that ??


i suddenly find myself sitting here
i hear my thoughts
i see myself from the outside

what is he doing ?

hey! you, down there ...
stop it
she's dragging you back again

remember what happened before

…

and after some countless minutes
that seemed like tiny seconds

it all disappears

i’m back alone
back inside
on the highway
on my way home …


that was a nice trip
and it felt really good too.

lament for my hair

today, i cut my hair.

let us all join now and lament for my hair
i've been growing it for more than a year

it's not the longest time
... but i needed to change

it should be part of the whole change i'm living
like all of this was planned earlier
like a huge cosmic energy gathered to make a bigger change in the universe
and it hit me somehow
affected my whole being and surroundings
changed me ...

anyway, i cut it,
so what ...
what's the big deal ...

it's only hair after all
but it meant to me.

.:deception

tonight i had a bad encounter
not sure about it...
but it fucked up my evening

i was dissapointed ...
couldn't believe that i knew that person really well
i was chocked to see it act like this

i was away for a long time
and out of nothing
it really hit me, changed my whole point of view

it shouldn't have been this way
that's not the way you said it would be

you know how small things could create and affect future outcomes ...
well someone must bear those consequences
and that's not me anymore

s peak to me

wouldn't you like to know...
... how she felt

I would

would she have cried
would she have stayed
would she have waited

- she never waited before, why would she, now

I guess you will never know

- if only she'd speak to me...

j us t:: escap ed

she sat on the bench, waiting...

- are you waiting for someone?
- my friend is coming
- are you sure?
- he said he'll always be there
- you mean here
- well ...
- you just missed him (?) ... he left
- but ...
- ... you have to go on, you can't expect him to wait a life time
- it wasn't that long
- it was to him

she never meant to do it, it happened somehow
ironically happened
he suffocated her, so she said
she couldn't explain it and he couldn't understand it

he found everything passing him by
everyone was growing
he was shrinking

he felt small,

imprisoned

chained

alienated

he wanted to change,
not that he was scared

he needed to

he had to

he couldn't wait anymore.
...
so he did
he stood up ... left the bench.

... he went on

f::: you

there's a look on your face i would like to knock out

[...]

all i want is to see you in terrible pain
though we won't ever meet i'll remember your name

can't believe you were once just like anyone else
then you grew and became like the devil himself
pray to God I can think of a nice thing to say
but I don't think I can so fuck you anyway

[...]

when you look at yourself do you see what i see
if you do why the fuck are you looking at me

Archive

::absurd

it's so absurd
i can't think of anything to start with
it's been a while,
so many ideas but nothing is coming out

Blurred

Blanked

... maybe later

cheers darlin'

cheers darlin'
here's to you and your lover boy
cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
cheers darlin'
you give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

[...]

what am I darlin'?
a whisper in your ear?
a piece of your cake?
what am I, darlin?
the boy you can fear?
or your biggest mistake?

[...]

Damien Rice

un::named memories (this one is old)

it's getting darker
... and darker

eyes closed.
mouth shut.

can you hear the fire cracks ?
warmth creeps from behind

fire,
light,
darkness ...

something tickles
something stirs

memories ... disturbing memories

why does it happen every time it's quiet
every time,
everyday.

ever felt a grab from behind ??
a smell from the past ...
a touch that would always last

it's really too bad
too bad ... in fact too sad

why am i here alone between all my friends
laughs and shouts all around
still i can't hear a sound

i am away
so far away
still stuck...

in memories ... bad memories

damn!

quietpl::ease

that's too many ideas
too many advices
you're giving me a headache

stop hammering me !!

it's all in your head mate
it's all in your head
...it's all in my head

stop.

i might be::wrong

what's done is done

you just wish you could write this final chapter again
but you'll screw up again and again
i might be wrong, but you will screw up
coz no one deserves so much

there's nothing more left to say
there's nothing more left to do

everything betrays you

some shitty dog barks all night long.
you try to sleep
you close your eyes

remember mate, it's all in your head

you close your eyes
it's all dark, as usual
somehow you manage to see

blankness, emptiness
you are floating down
nothing to hold on to
yet you are not afraid

you go down slowly,
you know it will hurt
you know you fell in ....

Open your eyes !!

i've been there once, and it's not that pleasant

the day light breaks in
and some shitty dog still barks the hell out of your ears

you wake up
feeling better,
knowing you're not

someday you'll be more productive,
healthier,
less bad dreams,
no regrets,
happier?


but who knows, i might be wrong...

...

close the door when you leave ...

you'll keep the car
i'll take the plastic vase


snap shot

- never wanted anything special
never asked for more than that
i was the one who always cared
- well i don't give a damn


the door slams ...

some new year just started::

a new year...
everything seems to be the past
everything seems to be the last

... nothing would ever last

and this play will never end
it's going over and over,
round and round.
... nothing changes but the crowd

they all watch, silently
some fortunates understand (you don't)
some react (you don't)

anger, rage, shame
fear, sadness and blame
they all mix up and make of you
a person ... you thought you knew

did you know, you must loose some when going down...
oh, i meant up ?

anyways, it's a new year
or is it ? ...

endless search

... some cheap Japanese movie playing
no one listens
everybody's talking
nothing to be heard


an empty room
a bottle of wine
I seek to know me

Have you ever been happy? ...

I can't hear a thing
I search deep
I seek to know me

Have you ever spent meaningless years? ...

I hear a violin
it's not that clear (... i can hear it)
it may be a love scene
could be a death scene


I seek to know me ...

::rubbish

- Hey, I'm laughing
... was it me?


- I guess it's you
well I saw you


- It is me ... I saw me

...then go

I have to leave now
I need to leave everything behind
now


let go ...



someone did
... why not me

awake ...